Newspapers

Blackwater Ledger No. 53

Available for purchase after "Political Realities in Armadillo"

CHEAT:

• Text Entry: "THE OLD WAYS IS THE BEST WAYS"
• Cheat Name: Old School
• Description: Enables a sepia tone filter.

WILLIAMSON GANG RAIN OF TERROR

In events that hark back to our state's not so distant and none too glorious past, a gang of thives and killers is running amok across the western counties. Although New Austin has never been a place for the faint of heart, nor a place that encourages delicacy, law enforcement agencies are particularly worried about this new gang. Not since Dutch Van Der Linde's crew was operating up in West Elizabeth has a criminal group caused so much consternation, nor gained so much publicity. Although cattle rustling and robberies are unfortunately still common throughout our region, the spate of killings, fires, and burnings caused by Bill Williamson and his gang have shocked even the hardiest and most robust of local residents. Williamson, a carecr criminal and reprobate, with a record running back to reform school, is himself believed to have once run in Van Der Linde's gang. Dutch Van Der Linde himself has not been seen nor heard from in several years and despite claims of sightings, is thought to have perished in a fire following a bungled robbery in 1906. With railway companies and other business interests pushing local and federal government bodies to aid economic development and investment by reducing crime, it is clear that action will be taken against this latest gang attempting to live the American dream outside of the law.

GRAVE ROBBER CAPTURED, BUT CRIMES PERSIST

Residents of Armadillo are baffled by the mysterious and somewhat repugnant case of Moses Forth.

Residents of Armadillo are baffled by the mysterious and somewhat repugnant case of Moses Forth. Mr Forth, who was recently arrested for desecrating and robbing graves is believed to have been solely responsible for a string of similar crimes across the West in the last couple of years. Following his arrest, however, there has been a further outbreak of graveyard de-secrations, leading to anxieties about who else is committing this most vile act.

MEXICAN LEADER APPEALS FOR CALM

Mexican President, General Ignacio Sanchez, who seized power last vear in a bloody coup in which he killed his own brother has appealed for calm in the tempestuous country. General Sanchez, who was head of a Mexican Cavalry division and who has studied in Spain and Bolivia is promising to improve conditions for workers across the country while increasing suffrage. In a speech he made last week Sanchez noted "despite my privileged upbringing, I am a true son of Mexico, but as a Mexican, I know our country needs strong leadership and this is what I intend to provide. The road for our country has never been easy, but I promise you, we are now heading in the correct direction."

PEOPLE MISSING IN CHOLLA SPRINGS

Several residents of Armadillo and the surrounding area have gone missing over the past few months in separate incidents, but none have yet turned up, either alive or dead. Local law enforcement bodies are urging residents to show extra caution when travelling in the back country on their own, or when travelling at night.

HUMORIST CRACKS JOKES, ARRIVES

Well known East Coast wit, Jimmy Saint, who writes for a number of respected periodicals in the New York area recently wrote to this publication, seeking our advice. Mr. Saint is being dispatched to our region to try to find some 'wildness' in our Western states. We wrote back to Mr. Saint wishing him well, but letting him know that beyond the occasional murder, bloody shoot-out or horse rustling, very little wildness persists in the region outside of wild west shows.

CATTLE RUSTLING WORSE THAN EVER IN NEW AUSTIN

The poverty-stricken ranchers of New Austin have been further blighted by a ruthless band of cattle rustlers in recent months. The hoodlums, led by twin brothers Ike and Willie Bollard, have been stealing cattle throughout Hennigan's Stead and then selling them at Thieves' Landing, often well below market value. The gang is believed to be using Pike's Basin as its base of operations.

TUMBLEWEED HAUNTED?

Following recent reports of ghost sightings in the abandoned town of Tumbleweed, visitors are continuing to tell of unnatural happenings and strange feelings. Some visitors claim to have seen spirits of the dead, others ghosts, still others, ghouls and fairies. Our reporter on the scene found no evidence but we urge readers to send us reports of any unnatural happenings in the area.

TOBACCO FIGHTS TUBERCULOSIS

Everywhere that fresh air abounds, man knows nothing of coughs, cold or lung inflamations. However, as man creates cities and is herded into factories, sweatshops, mines and mills, these soggy and unhygienic atmospheres spread the most deadly of pulmonary diseases – Tuberculosis. Dr. Charles L. Helden says workers can disinfect themselves and protect against disease through regular smoking in the workplace.

WONDER TONIC FROM THE EAST. DOCTORS WORRIED ABOUT FUTURE.

Users of a new tonic that is being sold in areas of New Austin have reported remarkable results. A one-legged woman in Plainview grew back her missing limb and an elderly man close to death got up and ran to the nearest brothel with the resumed vigor of a 14-year-old boy. West Dickens Patented Elixir claims to effect an infallible and painless remedy to virtually all known human ailments, both internal, external and spiritual, including aches, sprains, dysentery, lumbago, paralysis, chilblains, malaria, genital debility, rickets and depressed humors. The tonic, which is the result of years of research combining ancient wisdom from the east and scientific investigations from universities across the land is being hailed by its distributor as the greatest medical discovery of our time.

AN ORGY OF TELEPHONES

Most miracles are spread quietly, as the oak grows. However the telephone has grown like a common garden weed. There are now ten million telephones in the world. This novel vocal spectre has a certain haunting charm as telephone girls work day and night asking "What number please?" What man hasn't imagined the dalliances of the exquisite fairies that bless the most romantic of the commercial sciences? The telephone and telegraph companies promise Blackwater's skies will soon be one of wires in every direction, truly a crystal clear and sullied future at the same time.

MISCELLANY

• Cart Race to be held at Gaptooth Breach. Date to be announced. Large cash prize. Winner takes all.
• Furs and Pelts Wanted. Excellent Prices Offered. River Traders Pawn Shop, Thieves' Landing, New Austin.
• Horse Deeds for Sale. Beautiful Cleveland Bays, Standardbred Pintos and Tersks, among others. MacFarlane's Ranch General Store, Hennigan's Stead, New Austin.
• The marriage is announced to be solemnized of Miss Mollie Brannigan, daughter of Cole and Ella Brannigan, to Mr. Melvin Brannigan, son of Cole and Ella Brannigan.
• Young boy missing. Ralph Anderson, Age 8 Years. Pleace contact Grace Anderson of Armadillo with any information as to his whereabouts.
• Animal Bait for sale. Attracts all prey big and small. Manzanita Trading Post, Tall Trees, West Elizabeth.
• Beds available at Ridgewood Farm, Cholla Springs. Very reasonable prices.
• The old ways is the best ways

Blackwater Ledger No. 54

Available for purchase after "The Sport of Kings, and Liars"

CHEAT:

• Text Entry: "MAKE HAY WHILE THE SUN SHINES"
• Cheat Name: Infinite Horse Stamina
• Description: Your horse will never get tired and as a result it will never buck you off.

JOHNS LEADING RACE. ATKINSON DISGRACED IN RACE CRIME

Mr. Nate Johns looks likely to be our next governor, following remarkable revelations about the private business affairs of his rival, Archibald Atkinson. Mr. Atkinson, a recent transplant from Alabama, was found to have flouted important government regulations in several businesses his family owns and maintains. Alongside tax evasion and countless unpaid invoices, what is particularly shocking is the revelation that Mr. Atkinson failed to enforce racial segregation adequately and actually allowed non-whites to sit in the same room as Europeans. At various times, documented reports show serious code violations in which blacks, natives, Mexicans and other unspecified colored people were allowed to eat, drink, pray, receive medical care and educational teaching in establishments run, owned or managed by the Atkinson family, including a church at which his brother preaches. This shocking behavior simply cannot be tolerated in a new, still forming society such as ours here in the West, and voters have responded with appropriate outrage and disgust. When pressed for a comment, Mr. Atkinson’s office responded, "Archibald Atkinson bitterly refutes these claims. Like all good Americans, he is a passionate racial supremacist and implicitly understands that the natural order of things should be maintained. He would, however, prefer to focus the campaign on things that matter for the region. Issues like crime, health care provision and urban expansion are very important to the campaign, much more so than some silly slurs about racial integration."

RACING UNCERTAINTY

The region's leading equestrian event for amateurs, the famous Rathseller Fork Fall Classic, turned up a major shock the other day as an unknown outsider defeated the rest of the field and seized victory, winning himself a place in New Austin folklore. Despite accusations of cheating and illegal gambling, alongside claims of horse doping, violence and the usual charges of race bestiality, the victory was allowed to stand and the unnamed victor went the spoils.

MERCHANT RUN OUT OF TOWN

A travelling merchant, who had arrived at Plainview in the Rio Bravo region of New Austin to promote the health benefits of a new medicinal tonic, narrowly escaped with his life after he was set upon by an angry throng of disgruntled customers. The West Dickens Patented Elixir is said to be a complete sham with no noticeable effects beyond a prompt and violent evacuation of the bowels. The merchant, believed to be Mr. West Dickens himself, was pursued all the way into Gaptooth Ridge, but apparently escaped unharmed.

MORE TROUBLE IN MEXICO

Outright civil war in Mexico seems to get closer, despite President Sanchez's claims that the country is moving towards peace. Alongside food riots in the capital, rebel bands and militia groups are forming in several outlying provinces, with three separate groups claiming that they are the next government of Mexico and that they alone will bring peace, democracy and prosperity to this beautiful but troubled land.

MIRACLE OF MOVIES IN NEW AUSTIN

A famed moving picture maker from the East Coast is heading westward. Nothing surprising in that, I hear you say, with many movie makers in recent years swapping Queens for the more reliable climate of California, as the craze for moving picture displays continues to captivate our nation. D.S. Mackenna, however, is heading west, but not as far as the Pacific. He plans to stop in New Austin and build a new movie production facility here to rival the studios on both coasts. With cheap labor, good climate and plenty of available action, Mr. Mackenna is sure to turn our region into a center to rival ancient Athens.

FEDERAL GOVERNMENT DENIES EXPANSION

The Federal Government in Washington released a statement in which it denied the formation of a new body designed to fight crime and maintain civic order on a national, as opposed to statewide, level. Claiming such reports were "poppy cock and beyond its remit," a spokesman poured scorn on the idea that the Federal Government would ever look to expand its powers at the expense of the states. "Ours is a free federation of states, not a police run dictatorship from Washington," he promised. "The idea of releasing agents to spy on our population is simply preposterous."

RANCHERS STRUGGLE WITH CHANGING ECONOMY

A difficult business environment, along with cheap corned beef imports from Uruguay and the Argentine, has put a great strain on our once flourishing livestock industry. This is especially true across our southwestern region, given the scale of many ranches and the increased cost of labor. With increasing numbers of workers moving to towns and a lack of core skills amongst those who remain, for the first time, the great American cowboy is under threat and our once almighty beef industry is challenged by a new enemy. This time it is not pestilence or redskins or migration, but progress itself.

DAMSEL CAUSING DISTRESS IN MOVING PICTURE SHOW

With the flick of the magic lantern and the tune of a skilled musician, the moving picture "Damsels Causing Distress" opened in Armadillo to great fanfare. Viewers claim it is a fantastic show, while established theatrical groups say the moving picture is a brief novelty and nothing is like the theatrical triumph of live actors on a live stage giving real credible emotion. Lack of interest in live theatre is on the rise while at the same time there are in the neighborhood of ten thousand moving picture theaters across the country. The current picture show is a telling warning regarding the horrors that await our great land should women be given the right to vote.

LUCKY CHILDREN GROWING UP IN FACTORIES

Local politicians debated labor laws last week, with some ignorant fools seeking to set the minimum age for working children to be as much as nine years of age. But in reality what harm does factory life do a child? Hard-toiling factory children learn the benefits of work. Each working child is a cog in the giant machine of American progress. For this country was founded on the farm and field, child working alongside father, learning a trade, providing for the family. Additionally, children should have something to occupy their hands and minds, so that they do not have any time to be thinking of evil nor taking inappropriate personal pleasures.

HOW LONG WILL YOU LIVE?

The census bureau announced the newest figures on the average American's expectation of life. At birth, the male American can expect to live 43 years and 7 months. Officials indicated women will exceed that number on average, due to man having the sense to depart earthly toil free from the afflictions that accompany old debilitating age. Often, after the age of 50, women render life a burden to themselves and others. All the days that Adam lived were nine hundred and twelve years as stated in the definitive story of creation, so it seems we have some catching up to do.

WILD WEST SHOW HEADS EAST

Aspiring celebrity cowboys from across our region have traveled to New York City to perform in the Blackwater Wild West Show. Music is being performed by the Broken Bridle Military Band. Featuring a cow pony race, fancy roping, ladies bucking contest, Indian foot race, and Cow Boys to the Rescue, which depicts the dangers of the early settlers and the savages they bested. Also showing will be a horse thief act, and a mystery man riding without saddle or bridle, or even horse. The fancy Dans of the east coast have been sorely amazed at the more rustic skills us country folk have.

MISCELLANY

• New stock of Springfield Rifles available for purchase. A fine and reliable weapon with excellent range. Benjamin Dupuis, Gun-smith, Thieves' Landing.
• Walton Lowe, age 30, has died by gunshot. He will be missed by nobody.
• Ranchhands sought to assist with the breaking of horses at Ridgewood Farm in Cholla Springs, New Austin.
• Horse Pills for sale. Increase stamina and virility. H.R. Putnan’s General Merchandise, Armadillo.
• Accommodation available for purchase in Chuparosa, Mexico. Excellent investment. Adjoined to the town’s cantina. Everything a man could need right on his doorstep.
• Night Watchman wanted at MacFarlane’s Ranch, Hennigan’s Stead. Must be keen-eyed, responsible and sober. No weapons provided.
• Pistol and rifle ammunition. Lowest prices guaranteed. General Store, MacFarlane’s Ranch, Hennigan’s Stead.
• Make hay while the sun shines

Blackwater Ledger No. 55

Available for purchase after "Hanging Bonnie MacFarlane"

CHEAT:

• Text Entry: "YOU GOT YOURSELF A FINE PAIR OF EYES"
• Cheat Name: Lewis and Clark
• Description: Uncovers all locations on the world map (the same as purchasing and using the 9 maps from stores). It doesn't unlock access to Nuevo Paraiso or West Elizabeth if you haven't earned it through story progress though.

CIVIL UNREST RETURNS TO MEXICO

General Ignacio Sanchez’s government has been quick to downplay reports of civil unrest in several provinces. Although witnesses talk of large scale rioting, protests and train hijacking by rebel bands, alongside government death squads and other reports of violent retribution, government officials describe events as little more than small scale skirmishes between an increasingly confident government and the last vestiges of a rebellion loyal to previous regimes. Dispatches vary widely as to the scale and extent of unrest and as to whether Mexico is moving towards a much needed period of peace and prosperity or sinking into another era of violent internal strife and conflict. Unrest in the Capital is believed to have led to the deaths of up to five thousand people, although one local official blamed events on nothing more than a festival gone wrong.

KIDNAPPED WOMAN FOUND ALIVE

A rancher's daughter, Bonnie MacFarlane, kidnapped from her home in Hennigan's Stead, New Austin, narrowly escaped death by hanging after a bloody shootout between Armadillo lawmen and Bill Williamson's gang at Tumbleweed. The motive for the kidnapping is still unclear. Initial reports seemed to indicate that it was a crime of passion, but Miss MacFarlane is a spinster of 29 years, well past marriageable or childbearing age, so this appears implausible. The incident seems to be linked to the recent capture of Norman Deek rumored to be Bill Williamson's second-in-command. Several men lost their lives in the skirmish but Bill Williamson's body was not recovered, and it is thought that the notorious outlaw is still at large.

LANDON RICKETTS RUMORED ALIVE

Perhaps the legends of the old West do live on into this more modern century. Reports from Mexico suggest that possibly the last of the great gun men, Landon Ricketts may be alive and well just south of the border. Mr. Ricketts, who survived the Blackwater Massacre of 1899 and who shot and killed both of the Butcher brothers in 1896, amongst many other rumored and verified killings, was long believed dead after a late night gun fight in eastern California in 1902. Now it seems the last of the men who lived by the speed of their reflexes may be still among us. It is unclear whether he will now join a Wild West show.

SOUTH WESTERN RAILROAD EXECUTIVES DEMAND ACTION

Railroad company officials have demanded the government take action against rising crime and unrest in the region. The railway was supposed to bring peace, prosperity and the benefits of civilization to the region, but has itself become a target of robbers, brigands and fare evaders. Officials say that unless their profits improve, they will have to stop paying off government officials, with disastrous consequences for everyone concerned.

MANY LOSING FAITH IN FEDERAL GOVERNMENT

As the federal government continues to tighten its grip on land, property and law across the entire western region, people are questioning the true motives behind its interference in local affairs and, moreover, whether the policies, institutions and bureaucracies it has established are in fact less efficient than they were before. The federal government promised untold economic and social improvements however; for most, the West is poorer and more lawless than it was thirty years ago.

TRAVEL TO MEXICO STILL DIFFICULT

As diplomatic relations between the United States and Mexico continue to deteriorate, travel between the countries is complicated as major routes across the border between New Austin and Nuevo Paraiso remain impassable. Commercial travelers and tourists are being advised against border crossings at this time.

SEWAGE STREAMS THROUGH BLACKWATER

The Blackwater Sewerage Commissioners have announced a solution to the question of discharge of human manure into the river system around Blackwater. All citizens are thus required to construct sewerage pipes that discharge at a location downstream from the center of town. Currently the emitted gasses and stench are frequently unbearable and vapors in the water have been said to consume the paint from the bottoms of boats. By safely discharging downstream, this ensures the town and people have performed their civil duties.

NATE JOHNS PROMISES CHANGE AS GOVERNOR

With the gubernatorial elections looming, Nate Johns delivered a series of bold and impressive speeches this week, in which he promised to halve crime and taxes by 1915 and vowed that every household in the State would have an automobile, an indoor toilet and one literate family member by 1920. Campaigning under the slogan, "Make the West Fair Again", Mr. Johns has been dogged by accusations of corruption and claims that he is out of touch with the common man. Despite his family's immense wealth and influence, Mr. John's maintains that he is a man of humble origins with people's best interests at heart.

MASSACRE AT RIDGEWOOD FARM

A group of bandits carried out a brutal massacre at Ridgewood Farm in Cholla Springs. Men and women were murdered in cold blood, seemingly with little motive. Armadillo lawmen stormed the farmhouse, defeated the criminals and freed the survivors. It has not yet been confirmed if this was the work of the Williamson gang; if not, beleaguered Armadillo Marshal Leigh Johnson has another serious problem on his hands.

CHINESE WORKERS RIOT IN MEXICO

Reports are coming in of rioting amongst migrant Chinese workers in Mexico. Chinese laborers, large groups of whom are building both towns and railroads across Mexico, have protested about reduced pay and appalling working conditions. Riots broke out last week across Mexico at building sites following the withholding of wages due to deadlines not being met. Mexican officials blamed socialists along with poor translators.

IMMIGRATION LEADS US TO DISASTER

The Democracy Platform has announced its opposition to both immigration and the integration of immigrants in the community. With immigrants comes large voting blocks and organization against the majority class and race. Immigrants provide a vast block of unskilled labor, further devaluing the labor born in Blackwater. It is the position of the established class that opposition to immigration is the only choice whereby these territories can be prevented from becoming completely orientalized.

MISCELLANY

• In honor of Mary Shackleford, age 19 years, of Ridgewood Farm. Her life was taken too soon.
• Seeking actors for exciting new motion picture projects. Contact D. S. MacKenna at the School House, Armadillo, New Austin.
• Earl Errington, age 31, and his wife Betsie Errington, age 28, of Blackwater proudly announce the birth of their twelfth child, Francis Leonard Errington.
• Chewing Tobacco available for purchase. Wonderful health benefits. Nathanial Johnston M.D., Physician, Armadillo.
• Norman Deek, age 34, killed in a gun battle at Tumbleweed in Gaptooth Ridge, New Austin.
• Willie Feaney, 27 years old, of Ridgewood Farm has passed away. He will be missed by all who loved him.
• Room available in Casa Madrugada, Nuevo Paraiso. Good price. Many nice girls.
• You got yourself a fine pair of eyes

Blackwater Ledger No. 56

Available for purchase after "Civilization, at Any Price"

CHEAT:

• Text Entry: "I'M AN AMERICAN. I NEED GUNS"
• Cheat Name: Gun Set 2
• Description: Automatically adds the following weapons to your inventory:
  • Fire Bottle
  • Buffalo Rifle
  • Sawed-off Shotgun
  • Semi-automatic Pistol
  • Schofield Revolver
  • Winchester Repeater

ANOTHER CIVIL WAR IN MEXICO?

Following a long period of uncertainty, rioting and sporadic violence across the country, it seems Mexico has slipped closer to an all out civil war. A band of rebels led by Abraham Reyes has seriously challenged government rule in Nuevo Paraiso and other surrounding areas. These incidents have led some experts on the region to deduce that Mexico, long on the brink of another full scale Civil War, is now involved in a full scale conflict with itself. Mr. Reyes, a nobleman’s son born in a ranch just outside the capital, was educated in the traditional way, in both Mexico and in Europe, where he was expelled from a Swiss boarding school after an incident with a chamber maid. He is promising to bring Mexico into the twentieth century, and improve conditions for the poor. Mr. Reyes also believes that Mexico should be considered a leading nation and take a more prominent issue in world affairs. He believes the future lies in a vital allegiance between Mexico, itself a federation of states, and the most powerful empires of Europe and Asia, the Hapsburg Empire and the powerful Ottoman Empire, and that together they can greater effect adequate union between the Eastern and Western hemispheres in a more productive and international alliance for many years to come. It is this foresight and intelligence that has endeared him to a large section of Mexico and which is bringing the country to the brink of bloody anarchy.

SIMIAN ESCAPEE APPREHENDED

A baboon starring in Ma Tanner’s Simian Sideshow took French leave and was discovered in the balcony by an usher. After a chase that led around the theater several times, Mr. Jocko escaped through a café, spilling patrons’ coffee and causing quite a disturbance. Once cornered near the cloakroom, Mr. Jocko grew violent, using a coat rack as a weapon and wounding several patrons before being captured and shot for disobedience. Ma Tanner’s Vaudeville show will be offering half off tickets and assures patrons that the other apes have learned from his mistakes.

THREE-HEADED MAN TO TOUR USA

Each year lads and lasses bounce with glee when the circus rolls into town. This year a special feature will be included. The Ming Hing Han triplets – three men born to one body. They are reported to each have a different wife but must sleep together in one bed! The circus also reports that this year they will be without giraffes, as they were unfortunately injured when the circus train went through a new train trestle. Also, the bearded woman was shot during a poker game last month and will not be performing.

FEMALE DOCTOR ARRIVES - QUESTIONS ARRIVE TOO

Female troubles cause weakness and a breakdown of the nervous system, a situation that male physicians often cannot be bothered to handle. However, Dr. Lydia T Pinkerton arrived in Blackwater recently to set up practice. Educated in New York where female doctors are apparently commonplace, she met resistance and numerous unsolicited opinions and visits to her office by local officials concerned about the precedent of a female physician in town. This publication asks, "Would you visit a female doctor?" Many would say no. However, those who suffer from the distressing ills peculiar to the weaker sex, and the men who suffer the women during female troubles may have a solution with the arrival of Dr. Pinkerton.

SHOOT OUT AT FORT MERCER

Lawmen, gunmen and outlaws were involved in a bloody battle recently at the abandoned military base, Fort Mercer in Rio Bravo, New Austin. At the time of going to press events were still a little unclear, but it seems that this was the end of the Williamson gang that had terrified New Austin in recent months, but not perhaps of Mr. Williamson himself, whose body has not be found and who is believed to have fled to Mexico. Marshall Leigh Johnson who led the raid was commended for his bravery.

MORE GHOSTS TAKE UP RESIDENCE AT TUMBLEWEED

The town of Tumbleweed, long believed by local residents to be possessed by evil spirits, has claimed the lives of dozens more men. The area was found strewn with dead bodies and weapons, leading the more educated and rationally-minded amongst us to conclude that this is the work of mortal rather than unearthly beings. Rumors of riches hidden in Tumbleweed's abandoned mansion may have been the catalyst for the altercation, but for the moment it remains a mystery.

EXCESSIVE OPIUM SMOKING IN MEXICO

Levels of consumption of morphia, opium, laudanum and other euphoric sedatives in Mexico have recently exceeded healthy levels, with local government officials worried that foreign bands are trying to destabilize and weaken the moral fortitude of both the local population and groups of migrant workers. Although opiates of all sorts can be healthily enjoyed in moderation by a clear headed gentleman or used in pain relief by a gentlewoman when grappling with her curse, in the hands of peasants or foreigners, the drugs become quite dangerous and can lead to great lethargy and personal degradation. Some men have been known to go several days without shaving when gripped by such habits. We wish Mexico well with dealing with this moral affliction.

THEY CAME LOOKING FOR SILVER, AND FOUND LEAD

The stereotype of the deranged, psychopathic miner lives on, following reports of gunfire and explosions at the Gaptooth Breach mines in New Austin. It is not yet known whether this was just men letting off steam after too many weeks starved of daylight and female contact, or something far more sinister. To the best of our knowledge, the miners have not yielded any ore for some time now; but apparently there is still something down there worth fighting over.

MAN OR MONKEY

Science has unearthed the strangest prehistoric monster that ever walked in an upright fashion in America. Millions of years ago the west was a feeding ground for the greatest of beasts – reptiles over forty feet high with over one thousand teeth. But what about prehistoric man? Dr. Hayden Precent announced excavation of a prehistoric human skeleton that proves man descended from beasts. Surrounded by various bits of humanity pickling in jars and with a morgue smell oozing from his office, Mr. Precent suggested that a pile of bones on the table which he calls "Mildred" was indeed the "missing link" between man and the apes, whom he apparently should consider cousins. Science, while successful at bringing voice across the country by wires, will never persuade the creator that he has done otherwise than that clearly stated elsewhere.

ELECTRIC ANESTHETICS BREAK THROUGH

Electricity, the marvel of the age, is going to do more than just light our homes or help to end the lives of dastardly killers. This most mercurial of God’s great gifts to us, one that we have only harnessed far more recently than fire, or water, or earthen sod, is also at the frontier of anesthetics, thanks to remarkable new research at Fotherington University. It seems that pain, as well as pleasure, can be managed through the remarkable art of neuron displacement, and that soon we will undergo pro-cedures ranging from tooth extraction to child birth for women or hemorrhoids for men while plugged into an electric cable. It seems lights are not the only thing that is bright around these parts – so is the future!

ROUTES TO MEXICO OPEN AGAIN

The bridges connecting New Austin with Mexico are passable once more, although Americans are advised against travel until the violence and unrest subsides. Gubernatorial candidate, Nate Johns claimed credit for the border crossings being reopened; the result, he said in a speech today, of his family’s close ties to government officials in Nuevo Paraiso and his own "deep understanding of international relations."

MISCELLANY

• Alwyn Lloyd, believed to be of Welsh origin, died by gunshot in Armadillo, New Austin.
• Quality medicine for sale on the professional pre-mises of Cyris Purvis M.D., Blackwater. Restores even the sickest of individuals to glowing health.
• Many gringos get lost and die in Mexico. For maps of Perdido and Diez Coronas, visit the Almacén de Chuparosa, Nuevo Paraiso.
• Blackjack, Poker and Dice. Three of life's greatest pleasures. Leave the wife at home and come to the Thieves' Landing Saloon, Hennigan's Stead.
• Situation wanted for middle-aged man, crippled, but healthy. Can perform most tasks sitting down.
• Small house for sale in Escalera, Mexico. Beautiful location, despite the war. Priced low for a quick sale.
• Leander Holland, known to friends by the name of French, was found dead in Armadillo, New Austin.
• I'm an American. I need guns.

Blackwater Ledger No. 57

Available for purchase after "My Sister's Keeper"

CHEAT:

• Text Entry: "I WISH I WORKED FOR UNCLE SAM"
• Cheat Name: Diplomatic Immunity
• Description: Clears any wanted level you currently have and prevents you from being wanted again.

AMERICA WELCOMES REFUGEES

America continues to accept the down-trodden, this time from the bloody conflict raging in Mexico. With the government of General Sanchez no longer able to deny that the country has entered another bloody period of civil unrest, and the army engaged in battles with rebel bands and freedom fighters in provinces across the country, displaced civilians are streaming across the border into the United States. There have been stories of death squads roaming the Mexican countryside, killing entire villages suspected of supporting the rebel leader Abraham Reyes, and also of violent attacks from supporters of Mr. Reyes on towns loyal to the government. Over 15 suspected massacres have now been reported, although the death toll from this latest conflict remains unknown. One American reporter in the region told this newspaper, "Both leaders promise to bring stability and freedom to Mexico, and such is the people’s confusion, that they have decided to slaughter one another in order to decide whom to believe." Now, with countless civilians displaced, many are streaming into America hoping for well-paid jobs and a new life in our land of opportunity. American officials have called for a proper American welcome, and insisted internment camps are opened at the earliest opportunity.

GERMAN MAN KILLED IN DUEL

Another death in Mexico today, but far more news-worthy as it was a German man killed by the gun of an American tourist. After an argument broke out over a game of cards, the two men engaged in a duel in the main square of the town of Chuparosa. The deceased, Andreas Muller, was a silver prospector who had lived in Mexico for a number of years.

SPEED LIMIT IN WEST ELIZABETH SET AT 15 MILES PER HOUR

Officials believe a "speed limit" is the proper way to handle the growing automobile problem. Residents complain of races between automobiles often as high as 20 miles per hour. Automobile enthusiasts complain that they follow the rules more often; it is seldom that you will see an automobile on the wrong side of the road while the reverse is true of the horse and buggy. This publication is in favor of less speed regulation and better traffic regulation. Boy bicycle riders, horseman and carriage operators routinely deserve fines for infringing on the right of way of the automobile.

ACADEMICS RESEARCH NATIVES

With the important new science of eugenics, several leading scientists are hoping to demonstrate scientifically once and for all something that most of us have known empirically for a long time now – that God made white people more civilized than other races. Several anthropologists from important colleges are heading to our region. They intend to find natives and other more primitive races in their natural environment. They are searching for definitive proof that due to differing temperaments and variety in the nature of blood composition and organ placement, that although all men are equal, it is also right and proper that they are not exactly equal and that is just how everyone wants it, especially those who have found their natural level, doing important work like taking care of white people or cleaning out sewers.

NATE JOHNS ELECTED GOVERNOR

In a literal fanfare of musicians two hundred strong, Nate Johns was elected State Governor yesterday, winning 74% of the popular vote. It is reported that 40% of voters were even unaware of the name of his opponent, Archibald Atkinson. Mr. Johns celebrated at the Blackwater hotel last night with a lavish banquet for friends, family and campaign contributors to raise awareness for the problems of poverty and social inequality in the region.

CHURCH GROUP PROTESTS SKELETON

Local church groups protested outside the laboratory of Dr. Hayden Precent this week. The scientist who recently announced a human fossil linking man to ancestry with the great apes, stayed in reclusion. "Science is a dangerous heresy. Believers in this science are becoming numerous and it is alarming. Science denies a personal devil and a place of endless misery, which is essential," Theodore Turnbuckle said. Protestors promise that if Dr. Precent does not believe in hell, they plan on threats of endless torture to prove its very existence to him.

SUGAR COMPANY INDICTED FOR MONOPOLY

The federal government today began proceedings against corporations accused of violating the Shaklan anti-trust act. Amongst them A.D. Dunbar & Sons Brand Sugar was indicted for price fixing. Attorney General Sirus Habersham stated, "For too long the baking mother who wants to fill her goods with wholesome sugar for children to enjoy, has been at the price whimsey of one company." Representatives of A.D. Dunbar & Sons say that the capitalist system works and that they employ many people, especially immigrants and freed slaves.

MONSTER TAPEWORM

Dr. Cyril Purvis of Blackwater succeeded in removing a gigantean tapeworm from the body of an 11-year-old girl. The young girl had suffered from bloating, bad breath and a ravenous appetite for the past three years, but her mother had dismissed these symptoms merely as traits inherited from her father. The serpentine beast, 46 feet in length, was extracted by Dr. Purvis through the girl’s mouth in a procedure that onlookers described as "harrowing but at once mesmerizing."

REVIEW OF THE VOYACH CAMERA

The public is quite satisfied with the new Voyach inexpensive hand camera. Led by European experience, the design reduces the dimensions without impairing the necessities. It requires no focusing. All shots are of equally blurriness. Those not looking for extra quick exposures will be particularly delighted with the Voyach. Subjects must stay perfectly still for 2 minutes, not breathing, in order for the film to capture the image.

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

NO FEMALE DOCTORS

From Dr. Wesley Arthurs

Editor: When will American citizens come to grasp the fundamental truth regarding equality? Namely that all men are created equal. MEN. I find myself unable to congratulate Dr. Lydia T Pinkerton on her logic that women physicians are on par with men. Being poor of reason, simple of mind, and squeamish at the sight of mice or blood, it is unclear how this suits the medical profession. I certainly would not be comfortable with undressing in front of anyone but a member of my same sex.

MISCELLANY

• Stamina tablets for horses or expectant women. Buy your medicine south of the border at Médico del Pueblo, Escalera, Mexico.
• Skins and meat wanted. Hunters & Trappers will get the best market price. Manzanita Trading Co., Tall Trees.
• Buffalo Rifles. Large caliber, high damage. The American bison is in short supply. Do not miss your opportunity. Contact Jeb Murphy: Gunsmith, Armadillo, New Austin.
• Men's Suits. Stylish cuts, exquisite workmanship and unequaled prices. Levay's Fine Fabrics and Clothiers, Thieves' Landing.
• Night Watchman position available in Blackwater. Fair and reasonable compensation. Would suit a loner, widower or insomniac.
• Mr. Andreas Muller, age 44, originally of Nuremberg, Germany, has passed away in Chuparosa, Nuevo Paraiso, Mexico.
• This is to notify all parties whom it may concern that I will not be responsible for any debts or accounts contracted against my name, Mr. Nigel West Dickens Esq.
• I wish I worked for Uncle Sam

Blackwater Ledger No. 58

Available for purchase after "An Appointed Time"

CHEAT:

• Text Entry: "ABUNDANCE IS EVERYWHERE"
• Cheat Name: Infinite Ammo
• Description: You'll never run out of ammo.

NEW GOVERNOR COMES UNDER ATTACK

Blackwater politician, Aldous Worthington, has been vehemently outspoken in his criticism of Nate Johns’ appointment as State Governor. Mr. Worthington’s accusations are damning, ranging from corruption and vote-rigging to extortion, kidnapping and sexual depravity. Moreover, he believes that the wealthy Johns family’s large stakes in local businesses, not to mention the railroads, compromise his ability to be a fair and just leader of the people. Mr. Johns has dismissed Aldus Worthington as a hack, and his allegations as the “jealous slurs of a pitiful man desperately clinging to his career like a drowning man to a piece of wood.”

AUTOMOBILE DEATHS UP, LYNCHINGS DOWN

Only 127 lynchings were recorded in the United States in the last year, the smallest number recorded in twenty years. All but 4 of the cases were negroes. Civil rights groups applauded the statistic, saying it shows real progress has been made. The number of people killed in automobile accidents is rising, however. Officials cite the reason as automobiles routinely exceeding 20 miles per hour, putting children, the elderly, and horses at risk.

"TYRANNICAL" GOVERNOR OVERTHROWN. IS SANCHEZ NEXT?

The bloody rebellion in Mexico claimed its first high profile victim yesterday, with the killing of a state governor. Colonel Agustin Allende, governor of Nuevo Paraiso, just south of the border below New Austin, was killed yesterday, following a fire fight with rebels. Unsubstantiated reports suggest American mercenaries may have been fighting on both sides during the battle. Abraham Reyes, leader of the rebel band that is trying to overthrow General Sanchez's government and improve conditions in Mexico, claimed this was a great victory that will lead all the way to the Presidential Palace in Mexico City. Colonel Allende, who had been implicated in several massacres and other atrocities in the region, was not a popular governor and locals cheered when they heard the news of his demise. Mr. Reyes promised to bring greater political freedom to Nuevo Paraiso and set up a workers council immediately, while at the same time releasing a new state anthem, a ballad of his own composition.

NEW FEDERAL GOVERNMENT AGENCY DOES EXIST

Federal government officials in Washington were quick to point out that they had not in fact lied when denying the existence of a national level crime fighting authority, the name of which they refused to reveal to reporters. A government spokesman, who insisted on remaining nameless, suggested that, "this agency is not there to stop criminal activity; it is there to investigate it once it has occurred. That way it will keep both the prisons and execution industries in business. It is a vital cog of our economy, and taxpayers, as well as people on the street, will be proud of the work it is going to do for generations. So how can you say we lied? I don't even know the meaning of the word." Rumors that the body or agency has set up regional headquarters in Blackwater were strenuously denied.

DUTCH VAN DER LINDE SPOTTED!

Famed outlaw Dutch van Der Linde, a man long believed dead, has been spotted alive and unfortunately well in our region. Mr. van Der Linde, who ran a gang of outlaws and robbers for many years, has now resurfaced and it seems has not given his life over to the Lord. Mr. van Der Linde, wanted for questioning over several murders and robberies back in the early years of the century, is now being linked to a recent assault on a farm just north of Blackwater in which two men were killed.

TEMPERANCE CRUSADERS RALLY IN BLACKWATER

The Prohibition Movement continues to gather support throughout West Elizabeth. Abner Forsyth, leader of a group called S.O.T., the Supporters Of Temperance, is calling for the statewide prohibition of alcohol, and his speeches in Blackwater on the evils of drink have been drawing large crowds. Proponents of prohibition claim that liquor not only damages the mind, health and productivity of the imbiber, but also promotes moral degeneracy and societal unrest. Anti-prohibition campaigners, otherwise known as "drunkards", have denounced the idea that the government should define morality, citing that alcohol fosters vitality, combats depression and braces a man for hard work. Mr. Forsyth, who believes that intoxication is a sin of the worst kind, is asking people to make a simple choice: bask in the joys of heaven or burn in eternal damnation.

WOMAN ARRESTED FOR INDECENT ATTIRE

Gertrude Singer was arrested by officials on Thursday for indecent dress. She has repeatedly refused to wear a corset as is deemed proper attire, and her chemise was often visible below her petticoats. Miss Singer is thought to be escalating widespread civil disobedience among suffragettes and others who shun the established ways of operating in a civilized society.

THEATER REVIEW

Stretch Hawthorne the Singing Blind Graverobber

Many historical events that occurred during the picturesque period of 1870–1895 have been adapted to the theater stage, but none are as colorful as the legendary tale of Stretch Hawthorne. The opening gives us a glimpse of Hawthorne's life before losing his sight in the famous eclipse of 1883. The eclipse scene itself is visually stunning – using a flash of lit phosphorous as a special effect that partially blinds the theater audience as well. Only when Hawthorne breaks into song while digging down to reunite with his dainty love Anna for one more kiss and congress do we, the theater audience, feel the real depth of his pain.

POLIO - TB - TYPHOID - CHOLERA EPIDEMICS BUSINESS AS USUAL

The number of citizens affected by polio, tuberculosis, typhoid and cholera remains steady. While polio left thousands of children and adults paralyzed last year, only one in six will die of tuberculosis; typhoid fever typically passes after a month of high fever and bed ridden delirium unless it kills you in the interim. Cholera, however, is in its sixth epidemic and has claimed 700,000 lives since the beginning of the century, which is real progress. Health advocates remind citizens to wash hands weekly and reuse bathwater only amongst close neighbors and friends.

TAPEWORM CUSTODY BATTLE

The story of a colossal tapeworm, extracted from the body of a young Blackwater girl by resident physician Dr. Cyril Purvis, took a strange turn today when the girl's mother demanded that it be returned to its rightful owner. The tapeworm, which measures 52 feet and is the longest on record, was removed intact and survived outside the body for a further 11 hours. More than 300 people, at a cost of 5 cents each, came to gawp at the hydra-headed monster and Dr. Purvis now plans to sell its preserved corpse to a museum, circus or cestoda enthusiast. The girl's mother claims that the stomach annelid is tantamount to a biological grand-daughter, and that any pecuniary gain should be hers and hers alone. When questioned about the incident, Dr. Purvis responded with, "There's only one true parasite in this whole charade."

ELECTRIC BELT CURES DISEASES

Sufferers of all kinds of nervous disorders may take solace in a new scientific breakthrough: Wagstaff and Mount's Vim & Vigor Electric belt. It revitalizes the body and brings back lost strength and power. It cures almost every known disease and weakness including rheumatism, sciatica, railroad back, lumbago, melancholia, kidney disorder, liver trouble, poor circulation, impotency, club foot and female weakness. It has cured thousands with its alternating current. While our product testers were at once skeptical, they have grown to love the device.

MISCELLANY

• LeMat Revolvers for sale. 9-shot cylinder. A fine and reliable sidearm. El Pistolero, Escalera, Mexico.
• Attention manufacturers and inventors. Patents promptly secured. Send model or sketch for free examination. Jeremiah Somerset Esq., Patent Attorney & Mechanical Expert.
• Captain Vicente De Santa of the Mexican Army has been reported deceased, age 34 years.
• Outsiders, do not underestimate the importance of orientation. Maps available of the Great Plains region. S. M. NEELY-SHIP CHANDLER AND GROCER, BLACKWATER.
• Small log cabin for sale at the Manzanita Trading Post in Tall Trees. Perfect for a hunter or recluse.
• Wanted outlaw, William "Bill" Williamson, has been found dead in the town of Escalera, Mexico.
• Coming soon. Hunting By Rail excursions courtesy of the Pacific Union Railroad Company. Shoot from the comfort of a fully catered railcar. Fun for all the family.
• Abundance is everywhere

Blackwater Ledger No. 59

Available for purchase after "The Podigal Son Returns (To Yale)"

CHEAT:

• Text Entry: "IT AINT PRIDE. IT'S HONOR"
• Cheat Name: Good Guy
• Description: Sets your Honor to the maximum.

BLACKWATER BESET BY SAVAGES. NOTED ANTHROPOLOGIST SURVIVES

A vicious gunfight on the streets of Blackwater, perpetrated by a barbaric gang, including some Indians, has further compounded claims that the Native problem in the region is worsening rather than improving. The subject of the attack was a certain Professor Harold MacDougal, a prominent academic on sabbatical from Yale University to carry out a study of the Native population with a view to identifying the true root of their resistance to civilization, culture and religion. Professor MacDougal was apparently ambushed at his room in the Blackwater Hotel and forced to flee to the roof where a bloody shootout ensued. Eventually, MacDougal, proving the true robustness of a classical education, and an unnamed gunman were able to subdue the assailants and make their escape. It is believed that this abhorrent band of savages is being led by notorious outlaw Dutch van Der Linde. Many say van Der Linde, who disappeared without a trace around six years ago, has been living among the Natives for some time now, raising the question of whether he is inciting the unrest, or has fallen victim to a process of ‘de-civilization’ much like the Wolf Girl we reported on last year.

THE LADIES BATTLE: SUFFRAGISTS MARCH ON CAPITAL

Suffragists marched on the capital Tuesday in a beleaguered effort to secure the vote. Yet how does the acquisition of a vote affect the property privileges of men? Until this question is satisfactorily answered it shall remain the complication preventing women voting. Granting of property rights to women would result in cataclysmic confusion and the destruction of our core values as well as our families. These shrieking and savage mobs of harpies make Uncle Sam shudder.

FRENCH LITERATURE “LITTLE MORE THAN PORNOGRAPHY”

A powerful group of Congressmen in Washington are pushing forward with plans to outlaw French literature in this country. The congressmen, who cross party lines, but none of whom actually speak French, argue that French literature is little more than cheap pornography. They believe that it is sure to rip the soul out of the nation and do little to help the hardworking American family. Referencing works by Zola, Diderot and Voltaire, one congressman listed the horrors these books contain. "There's tales of nudity, illicit sexual congress, incest, prostitution, sexual pleasure and much else besides. While having these books translated to me, I came over all funny and took a turn. I am not ashamed to say that I disgraced myself. A less upstanding person than myself could have been destroyed by the revelations in these books and seen his life reduced to a rubble of self pleasure and Onanism. Thankfully, it will take more than Onanism to take me down, but the same cannot be said for the population as large." The group is suggesting that all French books, along with the language and even French bread and letters be outlawed in the US.

INDUSTRIALIST COMES UNDER MORE FIRE

"In the fight for progress, there are always casualties," Jeramiah Somerset once said. However, the wealthy industrialist's business practices have come under scrutiny once more following accusations that he has been poisoning horses to make way for his mechanized threshing machines. This strikes a particular chord in the aftermath of last year's allegations that Mr. Somerset was behind the weevil epidemic that ruined crops in New Austin, forcing farmers to sell their land at a fraction of its worth, and the infamous Irving factory explosion that killed over 400 child workers in 1903. A staunch supporter of prohibition, Mr. Somerset is also said to be manufacturing and stockpiling vast quantities of alcohol. He has so far declined to comment on these allegations.

AUTOMOBILE DEATHS - 30. LYNCHINGS - 127.

While the fascinating march of science brings us the sweet sounds recorded for a victrola, the sound of the automobile has spelled death for an increasing number of citizens as safety fears grow about the horseless carriage. Lynchings are up, which many attribute to the weather.

PATENT MEDICINE PICTURE SHOW IN BLACKWATER

Druggists and shopkeepers expressed consternation at the new motion picture show currently playing in Blackwater. It is titled, "The Dangers of Doctors and Patent Medicines." Taken to task are the patent medicines and traveling salesmen who ply their wares. This publication has enjoyed a long and happy relationship with many patent medicine companies who support the newspaper and we agree that reports of death, drug addiction and other hazards from such compounds are completely baseless.

DINOSAUR FOSSIL HOAX EMBARRASSES SCIENTISTS

Scientists were rushing to explain the recent report that prominent dinosaur researcher Prof. Bellum Brown was observed making plaster casts of dinosaur bones. Brown claims that it was for research purposes. Critics say that dinosaur bones are manufactured in labs and buried by scientists who later excavate them in an attempt to stray mankind. They also indicate that nowhere in the historical record is there a mention of giant lizards.

NIPPING CONCEPTION IN THE BUD

The North American Birth Control League published its newest list of pregnancy prevention techniques. Coverings for the male member fashioned from animal intestines are found to be the most useful. Additionally, marital congress should occur shortly after a woman's curse. Suffragists spoke out against birth control methods, saying that devices that cover the member are indicative of brothel creeping. After publishing their recommendations, members of the League were arrested and jailed due to laws prohibiting the discussion of sex in our society.

TAX INCREASE NECESSARY TO FUND GOVERNMENT EXPANSION

Law makers in Washington DC yesterday insisted that significant tax increases were necessary in order to pay for a greatly expanded federal government. When challenged that such actions were unconstitutional, and that the states had powers that could and should not be diminished by the federal government's ceaseless growth, law makers laughed and said the alternative is that we simply print more money and devalue the currency, so either way, do not forget who is in charge. Then the President gave and impassioned speech about freedom and personal responsibility in the modern age.

ETIQUETTE TIPS

Excerpts from William Laggard's Guide to Manhood

1. Etiquette prescribes that men of distinction eat alone in a room, uninterrupted by the frivolity of women and children.
2. A code of manners in street greetings, such as throwing down one's outerwear into puddles or the doffing of one's headwear will give evidence of correct breeding.
3. If you are going to be in the presence of ladies, beware of onions, spirits, flatulence and tobacco.
4. When making a formal call on a lady, hat and gloves should be in his hands and, although his happy demeanor may, his pantaloons should not betray his excitement.
5. Men are expected to be extremely active in the ballroom. While dancing, hands should never touch the corset less they spoil her dignity. If uncertain about their technique or gracefulness, it is suggested men dance with each other until they are more sure of themselves.

MISCELLANY

• Nastas (Surname Unknown), of Indian descent, has passed away at Bear Claw Cabin in Tall Trees. May you find God, my dear friend. Prof. Harold MacDougal Esq.
• MISSING PERSON: Sam Odessa, age 35, disappeared from his home six weeks ago. Possibly heading West towards California. His wife, Elena, seeks any information as to his whereabouts.
• Make your hard earned money work hard for you. Daily poker and blackjack tables at the Blackwater Saloon. Serious gamblers only.
• Dorothy Maygrove wishes to retract the hasty, and somewhat hopeful, notice of her husband’s death. Archie Maygrove is decidedly alive, well and, for the time being, sober.
• Medicine of the finest quality. Origin unknown but efficacy unequaled. Dr. Francis A. Gallagher, General Practitioner, Thieves’ Landing, New Austin.
• Experienced and punctual stenographer of trustworthy appearance announces that he is available for office work. Swift and proficient, despite slight aural impairment. No references available at this time.
• It ain't pride. It's honor.

Blackwater Ledger No. 60

Available for purchase after "Great Men are Not Always Wise"

CHEAT:

• Text Entry: "DON'T YOU LOOK FINE AND DANDY"
• Cheat Name: Sharp Dressed Man
• Description: unlocks the following outfits:
  • Gentleman's Attire
  • Elegant Suit
  • Legend of the West
  • Rancher Outfit

BANK ROBBERY FOILED BY GOVERNMENT AGENTS

YOUR TAX DOLLARS HARD AT WORK

Dutch van der Linde’s reign of terror and violence in West Elizabeth shows no sign of subsiding, following a bank robbery attempt that claimed the lives of several innocent victims. Van der Linde and his associates entered the First National Bank of Blackwater, coerced employees at gunpoint to empty the money from the vaults and were about to make their escape when lawmen and government agents surrounded the area. After a bloody siege, lawmen stormed the building, but van der Linde fled the scene with a hostage in an automobile. Van der Linde was chased to an old logging camp at Broken Tree, where another violent altercation ensued. Even though van der Linde’s body was not identified amongst the dead, many gang members including some Natives were killed. A spokesperson for federal agents assigned to Blackwater hailed this as an important victory over “the primitive and unprincipled forces that seek to undermine the freedoms and safety of the great American people.” Despite repeated and relentless attempts to civilize the Native population in West Elizabeth, it is feared the charismatic van der Linde will not struggle to recruit further disaffected youths.

SANCHEZ’S GOVERNMENT FALLS

Suddenly, Mexico has a new President. General Ignacio Sanchez’s government was swept from power yesterday as supporters of Abraham Reyes ransacked the president’s palace and Mr. Reyes assumed control of the country. After weeks of fighting in and around the capital, food riots across the country and bloody battles being fought in many provinces, events turned quickly, when the Fifth Mexican Cavalry Division, which maintains a large garrison near the capital switched its allegiance from General Sanchez to Mr. Reyes, following Mr. Reyes’ promise to increase army pay and double leave. General Sanchez is believed to have fled the capital and gone into hiding, although conflicting reports suggest he may have been killed in bloody fighting. Mr. Reyes noted that this was a great day for Mexico. “Finally, my people, the people of this proud and valiant land are free. A new golden age for our country is just beginning. First, we need a period of stability, and then elections and a place on the world stage.” Mr. Reyes then announced a three day Fiesta, declaring a national holiday. Rioting continued across much of the country, while initial reports suggest up to 100,000 may have died in the conflict.

UNREST IN THE EAST. GREAT BRITAIN VS. GERMANY

The British nation’s power upon the sea has been unapproached; however, a great rival is rising. Long has Germany desired expansion. Reports indicate the country is laying heavier and heavier levies upon her people in order to fund the formation of a mighty navy. Britain and Germany devote much of their industrial base to the production of weapons of war at a crushing cost of money. These engines of destruction are now seen in flying ships that rain death from above. With Europe heading seemingly closer and closer to war, people across the world are concerned as to how this will pan out.

THE MIRACLE OF THE TELEPHONE

Since the first experimental phone circuit was installed, the growth of the telephone busines is a story of romance and science. The telephone company in certain cities reports nearly 60,000 calls per day requesting to know the time. Critics complain the telephone has made our citizens lazy and unable to read a watch.

HALF OF AMERICANS LIVING IN CITIES

The prairies have gone quiet; the farms left for seed as more Americans escape to the glitz and glamour of the city. Old Dr. U.S. Census made his diagnosis of the condition of Uncle Sam and calculated that for the first time in the history of this great country more citizens reside in cities than in rural areas. Census questionnaires call for typical information as well as literacy, school attendance, and whether or not a family member is a survivor of the Union or Confederate Army. Census officials report attempts for information are especially difficult in former Confederate states where often government officials are fired upon or hanged, such is the local custom.

BIRTH CONTROL TECHNIQUES REFUTED

Members of the clergy strongly denounced the North American Birth Control League for spreading health misinformation and lies. Leaders responded that such misdeeds and misinformation is similar to that of pagan Rome where babies were put to death for idle pleasure. "We marry and lay with one another only to produce children," Rev. Adair Agatha told this publication. "The blasphemous statements by the League turn the marriage chamber into a pleasure seeking brothel," Agatha contends.

MASSACRE AT THE WRECK OF THE SERENDIPITY

Dozens of dead bodies were discovered at the wreck of the Serendipity in southeast Great Plains. Most of the corpses were identified as wanted criminals, and kicked into the river. The Serendipity, once a glorious steamboat, but now little more than a wrecked hull, has become a known meeting spot for thieves, smugglers and general lowlife in recent years. Government agents in Blackwater have refused to comment and local police say that they have no interest in investigating the incident, attributing it to either divine retribution or, for the more godless amongst us, Darwinian natural selection.

FEDERAL GOVERNMENT INCREASES TAXES, EXTENDS REACH FURTHER

Law makers in Washington agreed to increase federal income tax again last week, to pay for massive expansion in the Federal government. Most of the expansion will be in the form of added bureaucracy, with plans to triple the number of civil servants within twelve months in order to better track the work done by government departments and allocate spending more accurately. The government also vowed to increase health care provision for government workers and to build a large number of impressive federal buildings across the country. A significant increase in military expenditure has also been mooted but not yet agreed to.

SAFETY COFFIN SAVES YOUNG BRIDE

Florence Snyder, 13, was set to be married when she was stricken with a terrible case of cholera and seemingly died. Her betrothed, Cecil Perkins, weeping by her graveside, pledged to never marry as his heart was so rent asunder. Laying awake at night, he began to hear a faint bell. Leaving in only his bedclothes, he followed the sound to the graveyard where he found the bell above her grave ringing. Mr. Perkins had requested a P.J. Winder-stein's safety coffin for his love. Furiously digging with hands and spade, he retrieved her from her tomb, weakened but mercifully alive, having been in a state of cholera shock with low blood pressures mimicking death.

PROFESSOR ADVOCATES PRAIRIE PRESERVATION

Professor Hector L. Burgess has been touring areas of West Elizabeth in recent weeks in an attempt to rally support for a movement to preserve and protect wildlife habitat. Professor Burgess, who has spent the past fifteen years in the academic study of fauna and flora in the West, but who until recently had never left New York City, is convinced that, if hunting is not brought under some form of legal control, certain species of animal may be wiped out entirely. He claims that before white settlers arrived in the West, around fifty million buffalo roamed the plains, but that this number may now be in the hundreds, or even less. Burgess also believes that areas of both New Austin and West Elizabeth are prime locations for the establishment of a national park to rival Yellowstone in Wyoming. We say to Professor Burgess that the majority of the rural population remains extremely resistant to any form of prairie conservation, which we view as an attempt on the part of the urban elite to expropriate land, property and natural resources for their own nefarious gain.

AEROPLANE FLIES FROM COAST TO COAST IN UNDER 30 DAYS

While most prefer the relaxed flight upon the dirigible, those who desire to understand the aeroplane need only to speak with Horace L. Curtiss who piloted from coast to coast in under 30 days. This most groundbreaking of sciences, air-bound locomotion, promises to allow travelers the freedom to take to the skies and visit the coasts with ease and comfort, with flight times from New York to New Austin in as little as 21 days and San Francisco to New Austin in as little as 16 days.

MISCELLANY

• Blackwater bank manager, Mr. Harmon Weinstein, has been found dead near Broken Tree. We are told that he will be missed by some.
• Unwed and childless ladies, why not learn a career? Telegraph Operating classes twice weekly at the Blackwater Post Office.
• Certificate of horse deeds for purchase. Dutch Warmbloods, Highland Chestnuts and Welsh Mountains of the finest lineage. S.M. Neely Ship Chandler & Grocer, Blackwater.
• The Volcanic Pistol is a side-arm that will never go out of fashion. Modernity is not a substitute for craftsmanship. Large stock that must clear quickly. Jeb Murphy: Gunsmith, Armadillo, New Austin.
• Muriel Scranton, loving wife of Joseph Scranton, was killed by a gunshot to the head in the First National Bank of Blackwater.
• Children between 10 and 14 years of age sought for mining work. Good wages and conditions. Must be slender and comfortable with confined spaces.
• For all your dynamite needs, both professional and recreational, visit the Manzanita Trading Company, Tall Trees.
• Don't you look fine and dandy

Blackwater Ledger & Sentinel No. 213

Available for purchase after "The Last Enemy That Shall Be Destroyed"

CHEAT:

• Text Entry: "HE GIVES STRENGTH TO THE WEAK"
• Cheat Name: Invincibility
• Description: Enables 'God Mode'. You'll take no damage from gunfire, explosions, fall damage or animal attacks, however you can still die by drowning or losing duels.

TREASURE FOUND

A local man, Seth Briars, walked out of the mountains in Tall Trees and into Blackwater with a massive haul of gold and precious stones that he had apparently spent years of his life pursuing. Mr. Briars, who was once a known associate of Moses Forth, denies any connection to famous New Austin grave robbings by which Mr. Forth terrorized the dead in that region three years ago.

LANDON RICKETTS DEAD

Another piece of the Old West died last week with news that legendary gunman Landon Ricketts passed away quietly in his sleep. Mr. Ricketts, famous for his involvement in the Blackwater Massacre of 1899 and the deaths of the Butcher brothers in 1896, returned to the US three years ago after living for many years in Mexico. He is rumored to have been writing an autobiography at the time of his death, but the book was never made available for publishing. Amongst the legendary shootists of the West, Mr. Ricketts was considered to be one of the fastest draws, although he was also dogged by rumors that one of his most famous victories, when he shot and killed Johnny West, was won by shooting his opponent in the back.

EUROPE AT WAR

WAR HAS BEEN DECLARED ACROSS EUROPE FOLLOWING EVENTS THAT WE STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND AND NO ONE WILL EVER BE ABLE TO QUITE EXPLAIN

Germany is fighting France, Britain is fighting the Ottomans. Australia has wisely agreed to fight Austria. A noble man was killed in Sarajevo, triggering events for reasons that are still unclear, although no fighting has yet happened in Sarajevo, nor anywhere nearby, which is lucky as we are not quite sure where Sarajevo is, or was. Italy has promised to switch sides. Russia has promised to cover itself in great glory. Poland has complained, bitterly, about its appalling neighbors and demanded independence. Belgium said join the club. Politicians and monarchs across Europe, most of whom are incestuously related, are promising that the war will be over by Christmas. America has mercifully stayed out of the conflict and, in declaring its neutrality and hopes for a lasting peace, decided to encourage peace by selling arms to both sides.

EDGAR ROSS RETIRES AFTER A LIFETIME OF GOVERNMENT SERVICE

Agent Edgar Ross, a government official who spent the past seven years stationed in Blackwater with federal jurisdiction over all of West Elizabeth, has retired. Among many other achievements, Mr. Ross is credited with eradicating Native unrest in the region and eliminating some of the West’s most wanted and dangerous criminals, including Bill Williamson, Dutch van Der Linde, Javier Esquella and John Marston, collectively known as Dutch van der Linde’s gang. He was honored with medals for Outstanding Service To His Country, Distinguished Career and Exceptional Valor In The Field of Duty. Mr. Ross and his loving wife, Emily, have moved out to a cabin by Lake Don Julio in Cholla Springs, New Austin to enjoy their twilight years together.

SHOCKING REPORT CLAIMS COCAINE BAD FOR HEALTH

Despite widespread medicinal use as a local anesthetic, revitalizer and moral booster for long hours of work, The American Journal of Pharmacists flew in the face of popular opinion this week and issued a report indicating derivatives of the coca plant to be bad for health. Many doctors and druggists scoffed at the report. "This natural and magical alkaloid can supplement the place of food, make the silent eloquent, make the coward brave and relieve suffering on many levels." said Dr. Lawrence Mariani. The report claimed that cocaine was the stuff of "burglars, bohemians, night porters, low class prostitutes, pimps and lawyers", and said its use can be blamed for increased attacks on white women.

GOVERNOR JOHNS INDICTED

STATE GOVERNOR, NATE JOHNS, HAS BEEN INDICTED ON A PLETHORA OF CRIMINAL CHARGES, INCLUDING CORRUPTION, EXTORTION AND MORAL INDECENCY.

He is linked to the disappearance of a series of politicians and labor unionists, and under investigation for the forceful acquisition of farm lands on behalf of businesses in which his family holds a majority stake. He was also accused of sexually assaulting seven female staff members and battery of a prostitute, but these charges were dropped after officials deemed all the acts to be consensual. Even his election itself three years ago is shrouded in controversy after a large number of ballots were discovered showing the names of Indians, who are of course not permitted to vote under any circumstances. Mr. Johns is reported to be taking an extended vacation in Canada.

ANTHROPOLOGIST TURNS SAVAGE

New Haven in Shock

Yale Professor, Harold MacDougal, has been expelled from the university following a drunken brawl with fellow academic Lionel Fortisque.

Mr. MacDougal, who spent six months in West Elizabeth in 1911 studying the social and cultural behaviors of the Native population, published a damning thesis last year on the impossibility of taming the savage mind. A Connecticut newspaper reports that MacDougal attacked Mr. Fortisque after an argument broke out over Polynesian cannibals at a garden party. After beating Mr. Fortisque with a croquet mallet, the agitated professor fled to the roof of Woolsey Hall where he removed his clothes and threatened to jump if somebody did not bring him a plate of Beef Wellington and a bottle of ‘94 Claret. University officials stated that Mr. MacDougal had become increasingly unhinged in recent months and was already on probation following allegations that he had attempted to pay a groundskeeper to remove the top of his skull so that he could photograph a living brain.

PRESIDENT REYES DENIES HE IS A TYRANT, DESPITE MASSACRE

Following last month’s bloody massacre in a small town south of Mexico City, in which thousands were shot by troops while peacefully protesting the government, President Reyes has spoken out to deny rumors that he is a tyrant who has reneged on promises to bring peace to Mexico. Mr. Reyes argued that, although the path to democratic rule has been slower than he would have liked, progress was still being made. At the same time, he pointed out that the ornate new Presidential palace was proof that Mexicans could work effectively to get things done together. Plans for a concert hall and other civic buildings remain in place. Mr. Reyes also denied reports of wide spread starvation in the country and said he believed Mexico was on the point of entering a new golden age.

MARSHALL JOHNSON OF ARMADILLO RETIRES

Legendary Armadillo Marshal, Leigh Johnson, has retired at the remarkable old age of 54.

Mr. Johnson, who served as town marshal for 17 years, is credited with taking down some of New Austin’s most notorious outlaws including Walton’s Gang, the Two Crows Boys, One-Lung Lester Riley, the Bollard Twins and Wildcat Willie. Armadillo residents held a riotous leaving party in his honor at the town’s saloon, at which he arrested three men and reportedly was the last man standing at the end of the night. When asked about his plans for the future, he said that he would be moving as far away from Armadillo as humanly possible.

MISCELLANY

• We should not allow war to interfere with commerce. It is still acceptable to buy German Mauser Pistols for sale. Elmer Purdy, Gunsmith, Blackwater.
• Handsome man of means wishes to correspond with a modest, voluptuous young lady who has a mind of her own. Hair color and length optional. Impeccable skin and grammar a necessity.
• Private poker room at the Armadillo Saloon in Cholla Springs. Daily games, free from the prying eyes of wives and mistresses.
• Your speaking voice does not need to proclaim your lack of education. English governess will be offering elocution lessons at the School House in Armadillo.
• Jeb Blankenship married the love of his life, Lucy, today in a small and unconventional ceremony at Rathskeller Fork. No friends or family members were present.
• Irish male, of unknown name, came to his death by the accidental discharge of a gun in a Thieves Landing outhouse.
• He gives strength to the weak